Prayer

I’m about to get very real with you.

But, first you need some reference…Each week, on Monday mornings, YWAM Kyiv staff meet together for two hours to pray and intercede for another country, YWAM base, ministry, etc.  Sometimes it’s a good time of prayer.  Other times, it’s awkward.  Either way, it is always a time when we face increased spiritual warfare- usually in the form of apathy, doubt, or insecurity.

Yesterday, on my way to prayer, I was faced with some realities of interpersonal conflict within our base…realities I know better than to dwell on for too long.  I had to wait nearly 30 minutes for the bus, though, and I was alone.  So, I had time to think…and dwell…and fear.  By the time I arrived (15 minutes late) I was feeling quite nervous about what the atmosphere of the room would be.  But, when I walked in, sat down, and took a deep breath, I felt peace…and I heard God say, “I am here.  I showed up.  You are not alone.”

Relief swept over me and I started to cry…while the rest of the staff continued praying for the Euro Cup.  I don’t know if anyone noticed my tears.  If they did, I’m sure they wondered why I would be so emotional over the Euro Cup.

Soon prayer was over and it was time for announcements.  But, I was reminded of two things.  1. We are never alone.  2. God shows up to intercession and He hears our prayers.

We did Venice… with three kids

I have been to Venice exactly once.  So, I realize I’m not exactly an expert.  But, between the helpful tips from others and common sense we have gained over the past several years of traveling with small childrenI will say I think we did it successfully.   In fact, I consider this an accomplishment  worth writing about.

Things to do/ things I would do again:

1.  Get a hotel outside of the city.  Not only was this more budget-friendly, it was also a great way to see a smaller, quieter town.  In doing this, however, do plan how to get from the airport to the hotel ahead of time.  Downside: if you want to see St. Marcos square early in the morning or late at night, when nobody else is there, it would be better to stay in the city itself.

2.  Don’t do it all.  True, this may be your only time in Italy or in Venice.  But, if you (or, more importantly, the kids) are too tired to really enjoy it, is it reallyworth it?  We were in Italy for four days.  Days 1 and 3 were rest days, where we stayed in the smaller village and spent quite a bit of time in our hotel room.  Days 2 and 4 were our busy days.  On day 2, we went into Venice.  On day 4, we explored Treviso.  Downside:  There will be things you will have to miss out on.  So, prioritize.  Decide what you REALLY want to do and go for it!

3.  Eat pizza.  Once.  You’re in Italy!  Eat pizza!  But, don’t eat it every meal.  Try the seafood, fresh cold meats and cheeses, wine, breads, and many other more unique foods Italy has to offer.  We, in fact, ate out only once.  We got pizza at a lovely little pizzeria in Treviso.  Other than that, we found tons of fun goodies in the grocery store that we took back to our hotel room or ate in the park.

4.  Get gelato.  But, realize there are gelaterias everywhere.  Find a place away from the crowds where you can enjoy this sweet treat without being rushed.  We found some places where we got a small cup of gelato for 1 Euro.  This is not low fat ice cream!…which means, you do not need to eat a lot of it to be satisfied.

Things to do in Venice city centre:

1.  Walk, don’t ride.  Venice is not that big.  Even with our three kids, we walked all over.  Meanwhile, most other tourists immediately got into water taxiesthat took them to St. Marks. Granted, we live in Ukraine and our kids are used to walking.  But, walking through the side streets meant we got to explore the quieter, more peaceful Venice before meeting up with the crowds in St. Marcos.  A gondola ride sounds like fun, but it’s way too expensive!

2.  Take an umbrella stroller for the little ones. While it would have been nice to go stroller-less, having a place to put our not-yet-two year old saved our sanity on more than one occasion during the day.  However, anything bigger than an umbrella stroller would have been too cumbersome given the many bridges (and thus, stairs) in Venice.

3.  Pack a lunch.  Okay, so you may be the only family sitting in St. Marks square having a picnic.  But, you will save a ton of money and the frustration of finding someplace to eat once you realize everyone is starving and irritable.  At the very least, pack snacks!

4.  Plan to NOT have to use the potty a lot.  There are toilets.  But, they are few and far between.  Some cafe’ owners are kind enough to let the kids pee forfree.  Others, however, will require you to buy something.  This, was a fail on my part.  I had thought my freshly potty trained toddler was up for it, but just as we began the search for the potty, he peed.  We ended up buying a 6 Euro pack of diapers.

5.  Take a camera.  Okay, this should be obvious.  But, seriously, DO NOT FORGET your camera!

6.  Don’t get sucked in by the souvenirs.  Spend your whole day looking in shops or souvenir stalls and you’ll miss the charm of Venice.  We found a small, out of the way, shop toward the beginning of our day that we ended up going back to just before we left.  The lady was nice, there was no pressure to buy anything and her prices seemed good.  Masks are a big thing in Venice.  But, rather than spend the 15 Euros on an already painted one, we bought unfinished masks for 5 Euros and the boys are loving painting their own!

7.  Enjoy!  Wander the streets, watch the boats (even the “garbage truck” is a boat), walk along the water, explore the alleyways, window-shop, see the bigfish and bright produce in Rialto Market, get cappuccino in an off-the-beaten-path coffee shop and grab a pistachio cookie, rope of red licorice, or a cannoli.  Italy is a warm climate culture; a place to truly enjoy and relax.

Things for “next time”…

1.  Explore the smaller islands.  If we had more time, it would have been amazing to see glass blowing on Murano Island or explore Burano or Torcello.

2.  Rent a boat.  I don’t even know if it’s possible.  But, I think it would be a blast to take a little boat through all the canals and just explore Venice via the waterways.

3.  Experience some night life.  With three little ones, we were in our hotel room by supper every night.  Most Italians, however, do not eat until 7 or 8…when we were putting our kids to bed.  I’m not one for late nights or big parties, but I do think an evening out in Italy would be worth experiencing.

4.  Get invited over to someone’s house.  Truly getting to experience a culture means seeing and experiencing what the locals do.  Not knowing anyone in Venice prevented us from getting to really see and experience that part of Italy.

Some of our Favorite Things:

The Comfortability of an Uncomfortable Life

You know those moments when you feel like you are being watched or even stared at?  How ’bout those times when you’re pretty sure people are making jokes about you, but for some reason you don’t quite get what they are trying to say?  Or, do you ever encounter those “awkward turtle” moments you wish you could fast forward through?

This is my life here in Ukraine.  I’ve written about it before.  There is no such thing as “drive through” and fast food is not always very fast.  We walk or take public transportation to get places; and people look at me like I’m from another planet when I carry Gabriel in a baby carrier.  Though I never really feel unsafe, I also never truly feel comfortable, safe, or protected.

In one of my recent newsletters, I wrote about the one day since we have been here where that was not the case; where we felt loved and taken care of by friends who visited from Denver.  But, today, I’m sharing this from a different perspective.  Today, I would like to share with you how we manage all the other days here in Kyiv; because those days are not without hope.

How do we manage from day to day?  We grew up.  I have come to realize that being uncomfortable is not bad.  In fact, it is exactly what God has called us to here.  Believe me, I’ve done my share of whining to God- wishing I could transport myself back to YWAM Denver and rest in the presence of God during corporate worship or receive the comforting hug of a trusted leader or friend.  But, I felt the Lord say to me, “I love you.  But, stop whining and grow up.”  Though I still long for the safety of a spiritual covering, I believe God is preparing us to be that for others.

Here, without the spiritual security of a wiser and more mature pastor around (though I am eternally thankful for those leaders and pastors I am able to email and Facebook with), I have learned what it means to truly rely on God as my comforter and protector.  Don’t get me wrong- living in the States, I would have said I know God as comforter and protector (and I did).  But, here, it’s a deeper, more constant (Exodus 33:15) “If your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here” kind of rest, hope, and trust.  If you read Exodus 33:15 in context, you will notice this is the passage of scripture in which God’s presence passes before Moses.  Though I do not constantly feel the presence of God here, I know (I mean, really KNOW) I cannot live a fulfilled or effective life here without Him.  And, so, God says: “My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.”  Then I am able to find comfort and peace in my God and Father and I say, “Now show me Your glory.”

Blessed

I am blessed.  I was blessed to be born into a safe and caring home.  Not only was my upbringing free from abuse, but full of life giving truth, care, and love.  Of course, no home is perfect; but the home I grew up in was (to quote a friend) in a lot of ways “like a black and white TV show such as ‘Leave it to Beaver’.”  My six siblings and I had our childhood arguments and fights; but, generally speaking, we have always gotten along quite well.  I was taught, by my parents, how to clean the house, cut the grass, plan and prepare meals, how to handle finances, how to sew…and many other valuable life skills.  From the age of 6, I knew I wanted to be a missionary.  From age 14, I knew I would minister in Eastern Europe one day.

Although I grew up knowing the Church was far from perfect, I grew up knowing the love and faithfulness of God is big enough to reach past our sin, hypocracy, and misunderstandings.  My theology has changed and evolved over the years, but I have been blessed to receive solid teachings and good discipleship which included wisdom such as, “always take what you are taught and make sure it is aligned with the Word of God.”

During my teenage years, I was being discipled in worship while being taught ballet by wonderful Christian teachers.  When my amazingly devoted  youth pastors moved away, I cried.  A lot.  But, God opened the door for me to be under another wonderful youth pastor at another church.  This man became senior pastor of the same church just as I was moving into adulthood.  Several years later, he performed the marriage ceremony for my husband and I.  Though years have passed since I was able to attend a service at the church where he still pastors, I still listen to his sermons and consider him my pastor.

When I searched the Internet for Youth With A Mission Discipleship Training Schools, God opened the door for me to go to Denver.  I was blessed to discover that YWAM Denver was not only one of the biggest YWAM bases, but also one of the strongest in discipleship. My DTS was wonderful; my School of Ministry Development, challenging, but no less significant.   One of my heroes died this year- someone who had inspired me to missions through his life and someone who had been like a grandfather to me.

Following my training in Denver, I spent two years with Mercy Ships.  Admittedly, this was a less enjoyable time in my life; but a period of time in which I learned much.  When God led me back to YWAM Denver to join staff, I was excited and thankful.  Over the next eight years, I got married, had two children, lost a baby in miscarriage, and had my youngest son.  I had the opportunity to attend worship 3 times a week, experience amazing teaching, and continued to receive discipleship even as I was helping to disciple others. During my time at YWAM Denver, we experienced the terrifying shock of having a shooting at our base.  The shooter killed two of our staff and wounded two others.  We learned a lot that year about pain, mourning, and loss; but also about forgiveness, healing, restoration, and the value of community.  While in Denver, not only were we blessed with a wonderful YWAM family, but also an amazing church family as well- who championed us, encouraged us, and challenged us.

As of 7 months ago, my husband and I and our three precious boys live and work in Eastern Europe- fulfilling my dream of serving as a missionary here.  Here we face challenges every day, but none God cannot help us handle.

Recently, (over the past several months) I have written that things are difficult here.  This is what I don’t mean by that:  ”Woe is me, my life is so hard!”  I don’t mean I wish I was back in the States.  I don’t mean I  think things here should be easy.  My life is great.  I have been blessed beyond what I deserve!

Here is what I mean when I say things like “I feel discouraged”:

*When I look around and see so many people in pain and suffering; I feel guilty that my life is so good.  I feel like the little influence, wisdom, and resources I have cannot possibly make a dent in the need I see around me.  Of course, the truth is God has put me here for a reason, He will use me as He likes and the weight of the world is not on my shoulders.

*When I see continued dysfunction, disunity, and dissention at a YWAM base that is supposed to be working together to make a positive impact on the world around us, I feel frustrated that we are wasting time and not fulfilling our purpose here.  The truth is, one of the reasons God has us here is to help bring peace and stability to this base and that I need to have grace and patience.

*When we get distracted from our calling, weighed down by the enemy, and forget “our struggle is not against flesh and blood,” I feel like we have failed. The truth is, God’s grace is bigger and His love covers me.

So, please do not misunderstand my musings or mis-interperate my attempts to be “real.”  I am blessed.  I am thankful.  I am ever so thankful for the people, for the blessings; for the investments that have been made into my life- and for the opportunities I have to use those blessings to invest into the lives of others!

Kinda Done

I’m kinda done with the endless debate between “Be in the world but not of it”  and  ”Be all things to all men.”  Did anyone else ever noticed the same person (Paul) said both of these things?  (and by that, of course, I mean he did not actually say either of them…as they are both simplified paraphrases of actual passages of scripture Paul wrote)  The point being that, if the same person is credited for both these thoughts, can they not be reconcilable?  Of course, the point could also be made that these verses both come from the Word of God; and thus, must be united.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

I Cor 9:19-23 “Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.  To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.  To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law.  To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.  I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”

What did Jesus do?

He had his mind renewed.  He knew how to defeat the devil.  He spoke with wisdom from God and without interest as to how others might view Him.  He overturned tables in the temple.  He performed miracles.  He told the rich man that if he wanted eternal life, he must sell all his possessions and give them to the poor.  He showed up too late and his friend died.  He did not blend in.

Yet, He loved everyone equally and offended them equally.  He wanted everyone to know the Father, but He was not willing to sacrifice truth to convince people to follow Him.  He spoke to Jews, Gentiles, men, women, children, disciples, tax collectors; and He related to each group or individual uniquely.  When He did offend, it was not because of ignorance or for the lack of “cultural sensitivity;” but for the necessity of truth.  As He spoke the truth He was not afraid to offend, but He always spoke with love, without judgement, and with the hope of restoration.

Jesus knew life was messy.  He knew love was messy.  And, He was okay with that.  …so okay with that, He got involved.  He came to earth, got messy, and gave his life…not neatly and quietly, but naked, bloody, and disfigured.  He did all this so that YOU could have eternal life.  But, not just you.  Everyone else, too.

So, that’s where it gets real.  That’s where it gets personal.  Who did God create you to be; what did He plan for you to do?  It’s not religion vs relationship; it’s that our religion is all about relationship.  It’s not “goody two shoes Christian” vs “bad-ass Jesus lover.”  It’s about Christ, Him crucified; and how we can share the News and make disciples.

Reconciling Dichotomies

Have you ever wondered when God’s sovereignty ends, when man’s free will begins, and how this dichotomy affects all our lives?  I wonder this often.  I know God has us here, and wants us here, in Ukraine.  Yet, I know my time here is far from guaranteed.  I know God can do miracles.  I know He could provide a way for us to be here, no matter what.  But, would He?  Political unrest, rumors of potential uprisings, and ever changing laws regarding foreigners here are constant reminders our time here could be shorter than we hope…reminders that we need to make the time we do have count.

Do you ever want your life to be so significant or to make such a positive impact on the world that you miss the seemingly mundane opportunities right in front of you?  I think I do.  I want to change the world!  I want to free the slaves, spiritually and physically.  I want to storm into brothels…!  The problem is that God’s timetable is quite different from my own.  It took 17 years for me to get to Ukraine- from the time I felt God’s heart for Eastern Europe to the time our family moved here 7 months ago.  Those 17 years of preparation were not wasted years; just as this time of learning, growing, raising my children, and helping others is not wasted.  I will change the world…one prayer at a time, one smile at a time, one meal at a time, …one diaper change at a time.  One day, maybe I will do something radical; or, maybe not.  Maybe my job is to help others be amazing.

How often have you agonized over the need for sacrifice and the desire for blessing?  Few of us don’t, I would guess.  God desires sacrifice; yet He promises blessing.  Recent days in my life continually prove thus: when we sacrifice (out of a pure heart- we can have another dissertation later about the dangers of people pleasing and neglecting to have healthy boundaries), God blesses.  The more generous we are, the more generous God enables us to be; the more inconvenienced we are, the more opportunities for ministry arise, and the more of ourselves we give, the more blessed and fulfilled our hearts become.

 

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. I Cor 13:12

The lost art of self discipline

Today I read this article my friend posted on Facebook.
Why French Parents are Superior

I found the article to be a well written glimpse into parenting methods involving teaching things like manners, respect, patience, and delayed gratification. If you are a parent, I would recommend reading the article.

As I pondered these things, the way I raise my children, and the methods that may or may not be effective for our particular family, I then deviated to thoughts more related to us “grown ups.” Instant gratification is our way of life in America. Since living in Ukraine I have come to see this even more clearly- in myself as much as in my American friends or the whole of American culture. We don’t wait. We don’t wait because we do not see the value in waiting. We don’t see the value in waiting because we have lost the art of self discipline.

According to Webster, self discipline can be defined as: correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement. It has been my observation that, we Americans…and in many cases, “Westerners,” in general, do not regulate ourselves well.

We think we do. We are so busy and we “accomplish” so much, that we are fooled into thinking we regulate ourselves. But, I would like to argue that our schedules and external stimuli regulate our time and energies more often than we ourselves regulate our lives. Life “happens” to us. This is why we are over-stressed, over-fed, and over-indulged. We believe we are over-worked because we are under-rested; while these are do not necessarily equate. We are under-rested because we do not know how to rest well. We collapse in front of the television, ipad, computer, or telephone. We turn off our minds and expect them to re-charge. It does not work. We go to bed exhausted, wake up exhausted, and rarely take a true sabbath.

What we do try to do is lose weight and save money, but we do not want to sacrifice to reach those goals. We go on “health kicks” and “diet plans,” and we read articles entitled “money saving tips.” Yet, in all reality, we change our lifestlyes as minimally as possible.

Dear friends, it is time for a radical change. It is time for us to take a step back from our lives and take a good, long, honest look. Are we in control? Are we exercising self discipline? Are we taking care of what we know to be most important? Do we know what we belive is most important?

If you like “cold turkey,” go for it. Decide what you want to do, make a plan, and go for it. If you are like me and need a more gradual approach, take your time. Make a plan. Make small changes, but make those “stick” and keep moving forward.

I don’t like to point out problems or make theoretical suggestions without making it practical. So, here are some ideas.

1. Limit your number of Starbucks beverages or whatever your indulgence is. Once a week? Once a month?

2. When you feel the temptation to do something mindless with only limited productivity such as shopping, watching TV/ movies, browsing the Internet, etc; take a minute to think of what would really re-charge you and do that instead. If you catch yourself in mid-indulgence, STOP, “rewind”, and do something more significant.

3. Walk or take public transportation to work. No, I am not kidding. It will be good for you, trust me.

4. Wake up 15 minutes earlier and eat a nutritious breakfast and have a few minutes with Jesus.

5. Go for a long walk once a week.

6. Refuse to buy those cookies, ice cream, donuts, candy, etc…even if you REALLY want them or your child is begging.

7. When you see something you want, examine it, put it down, and walk away. If you still want it tomorrow, it will most likely still be there.

8. Learn how to do something you have always wanted to know how to do, but never learned.

9. Go out of your way to help or bless another person…on a regular basis.

10. Learn how to cook.

Learn how to distract yourself. If you find you are having trouble disciplining yourself in these, or other areas of your life, learn how to re-focus your mind. Memorize scripture. Listen to sermons or other educational teachings. Go for long walks by yourself and talk to Jesus. Busy your hands with something useful, productive, or something that gives you rest.

Visa drama…again

Well, it is “down to the wire,” as they say. In less than 24 hours we will know if we will be able to register our visas here or not. Tomorrow is the only day the registration office will be open before our next 90 days are up and we still need one more document freom our landlord, who is not answering his phone. If he does not bring the paper tonight or tomorrow morning, we will not be able to register at this address. This means, we will have to leave the country, as before; and hope they let us back in. If we are let back in for another 90 days, we will have to move to another place and get registered there.

Please pray.

Living as a mis…

Living as a missionary, on a small budget, I am always looking for creative ways to save money.  As one interested in healthy living, I am continually trying to purge my life of anything chemically based or overly processed.  When I can combine saving money with healthy living, that makes me even more happy.

So, today, I would like to share with you a few tips I’ve learned along the way.  

1.  Disposable paper products are an unnecessary expense.  You really don’t need to buy any paper products other than toilet paper.  (Though India does have a solution for even getting rid of the need for toilet paper, I would not highly recommend it.)  As for the other paper products – such as paper towel or napkins, keep a pile of clean washcloths or rags under kitchen sink or in a drawer for easy access.  Keep another pile of rags next to your bathroom cleaning supplies.  Rinse after each use and keep a separate bin to throw the dirty ones in if your laundry facilities are not just in the next room.

2.  Chemical based cleaning supplies are over-rated.  Do just a little bit of research and some “elbow grease,” and you can educate yourself as to how to clean almost any surface with water, vinegar or lemon juice, baking soda, and salt.  Throw in a bit of hydrogen peroxide now and then, and you’re good to go!  No expensive or hard to find items. 

3.  Essential oils are a must.  Where are the savings, you ask?  Though the bottles are small, a few drops of oil goes a long way and the oils can be used for many purposes.  I use my collection as medicine, disinfectant, air freshener, bath oil, ache and pain reliever, and bug repellent.  For a basic, low cost start, I would recommend lavender, eucalyptus, and lemon.  Just a little bit of research will go a long way in learning how to use the oils safely and for many purposes.  

4.  Shampoo, conditioner, and other hair products are not actually necessary.  I know you don’t believe me.  But, my sons haven’t washed their hair in months and nobody can tell!  Chemical based shampoos actually strip the hair of it’s natural oils- causing your body to create more oil to make up the difference.  So, there is a transition period for this reason, but  this transition period only lasts a couple of weeks.  I found the following on another bloggers’s site (simple mom.net) and it’s working for me.  Use 1t baking soda in 1c water as shampoo.  To follow up, use 1T apple cider vinegar in 1c water.

5.  Whole foods can save your life.  Again, you’re asking about the savings.  Though it is less expensive to buy a box of cookies than a pound of apples, it is much more expensive to go to the doctor and pay for prescriptions than it is to buy that produce.  So, consider this a long term investment.  Evidence from many different research groups show that a plant-based diet with little to no processed foods not only prevents diseases, but can help reverse them.  

6.  Reduce the stress in your life.  If you don’t have time to take a Sabbath, you are too busy.  Let me clarify.  If you don’t take time to rest, renew your mind, re-gain perspective, and let your body renew itself; you will be constantly stressed, always tired, and at risk for those diseases you are trying to prevent by your healthy eating.  By all means, work hard.  But, take one day in seven to rest.  Combine this with whole foods, and just think of all the money you are saving by not having heart surgery!

7.  Learn how to take care of your clothes.  You don’t need a new wardrobe each new season- or even each new year.  Buy items that will last longer than a few months and take care of them.  Remember that the dryer is hard on clothes, so hang dry when possible.  When new items are needed, shop at the thrift store!  You may be surprised at the number of quality items at a drastically discounted price you can find!

8.  Give to others.  Although this seems directly opposite to a money saving tip, but, you may be surprised.  Invite a friend, another couple, or another family over for a meal.  Not only are you blessing others, but you will be blessed- and it may not cost as much as you think to feed those extra mouths.  Take someone with you to go get coffee and pay for their drink.  Even if you go half as often as you usually go, you’ll surely have a more blessed time sharing with a friend.  Give to someone in need and you may realize you need less to begin with.